When Natalie Griffith of Identity Spark Coaching joined Game Republic, we asked about networking – the answer is a really helpful article which will undoubtedly help those coming to Game Republic New Horizons on 16th October, or those going to the Investment Summit at EGX/MCM, or those coming to GaMaYo on 13th November or indeed generally anyone who wants to network better or to feel more confident about it!
This is definitely worth a read.
Taking the nightmare out of networking – it’s not you, it’s me
by Natalie Griffith
I’m really excited about going to Game Republic New Horizons next week, but I’m also nervous. I’ve spent over three decades in this industry but have been out of the events loop for several years and am coming to Middlesborough with a new business and a sense of starting again.
Both these things can be true at the same time but my brain is having a hard time accepting that right now! How about you? Do you find networking a nightmare?
When you’re earlier in your career, the anxiety often comes from that sense that there’s some magical set of networking skills that other people have been endowed with but you’ve missed. You’ll believe there’s a right way to network and that you have to be fully prepared for every conversation, or the whole thing will end in disaster and you’ll have to move to a remote Hebridean island to contemplate your life choices and your shame.
Even when you’ve been around the block a bit longer, it can still be scary. You may be more confident in your ability to talk to a stranger, but you’ll be carrying around a tonne of second-guessing baggage that can dent your confidence. Can you really afford that amount of time out of the office? Will the ROI of attending be worth it, or even clearly provable to your boss?
Imposter syndrome, managerial expectations, social anxiety, financial pressure, neurodiversity, fear of overwhelm, rejection or embarrassment – all these things and more can play their part. But whatever it is that’s fuelling your apprehension about next week’s event, it’s the conversations you have with yourself that will be the most important.
You’ll find a tonne of practical networking tips online, but they won’t all suit you so can be overwhelming. Instead, here are three simple mindset tips that have worked for me and others who I’ve coached – the 3 S’s: Success, Stressors and Symptoms. By asking yourself these questions you’ll be better prepared for any networking situation.
1. SUCCESS – “What does success really mean for this event?”
Do you really need to sign 5 contracts, or do you actually just need to have 5 good conversations with people who are solid prospects? Or is a win actually just carving out some quality time with that one person who’s on the brink of saying yes? Business wins never come in a single moment so think carefully about what stage you’re currently at and just aim to move it to the next stage. Whether you’re looking for prospects, building relationships or closing deals, the very next step is more important than the final destination.
If you can’t get a clear definition then try the 5 Whys Technique by asking yourself (or whoever’s paying the bill) five successive “whys” to get to the root of what you’re really looking to achieve.
2. STRESSORS – “What are you actually most scared of?”
What have you found toughest in the past about events or networking? Entering the packed room on the first day? Booking appointments? Lunchtime small-talk? Pitching yourself?
Work out what that is and spend a bit of time in advance thinking about what strategies have helped you in the past. Maybe you just need advice on phrasing meeting requests, or practicing your elevator pitch with a couple of friends. Maybe arriving ahead of the crowd might help? Or allowing yourself some recharge time at lunch by eating elsewhere.
A bit of curiosity and honest reflection can be worth ten networking courses or Instagram business hack videos.
3. SYMPTOMS – “How will you recognise if your stress is building on the day?”
This is an important one. No matter how much we plan, we can still sometimes get side-swiped by anxiety in the moment. A bit of visualisation can really help here – imagine the physical sensations you experience when you start to feel stressed. Maybe you get tense or fidgety, start breathing more quickly, feel clammy – whatever it is for you, consciously be aware of it.
Once the cortisol kicks in we can forget to check in with ourselves though so choose a tangible reminder that you’ll always have with you that will prompt you to take 10 seconds to pause and see how you’re feeling – clients of mine have tried scrunchies tied to water bottles, fidget toys in their pockets, wristbands or reminders on their watches.
Whenever you spot one of your stress warning symptoms then do a ‘RAIN check’ to help move through it:
R: Recognise what sensations or emotions are causing the reaction
A: Allow them – it’s OK to feel them
I: Investigate why – what was the trigger?
N: Nurture yourself – use the perspective and understanding to do whatever works for you to regroup – head outside for a couple of minutes, find a friend or ally, take a fake phone call, go to the loo
Most of all, remember that we’ve ALL been there at some point. No-one is a perfect networker and we all have bad days or life events getting in the way of our being our best. But taking some control over our own self-talk is the most powerful networking skill you’ll ever learn.
And if you’re at Game Republic New Horizons next week and have a wobble – then come and find me and we’ll do a RAIN-check together. I’ll be the one with the purple hair and the over-fixation on my phone. We’ve got this.
